“Are you OK?”
What is it about that magic question that always gets to the heart of the matter for me? Someone can ask me how I’m doing, and I can fib away any bad feelings with no issues.
In fact, I have a few ready answers just in case such an event arises:
- I’m hanging in there.
- I’m still trucking.
- Oh, I’m okay, I suppose.
And, when all else fails, I can at least muster the all-too-pathetic “I’m fine.”
But when someone – particularly a few special someones – ask me, “Are you OK?” and I’m not, the tears will begin to flow.
Perhaps it’s the fact that this question is so much more direct than a simple “how are you?” or “how’s it going?” that makes it harder to avoid. Or it’s the fact that those other questions are so rarely meant to get to the heart of the matter. They’re asked as a social nicety, not to truly check in on someone.
I don’t know if this question is a trigger for everyone. But I do know it has always been a trigger for me at bad times in my life. When I’ve been struggling and the right person has asked this question, it has been my straw. When my mother or my partner has asked, it usually invokes tears before it brings forth any real answer.
Then again, I suppose the tears are the real answer.
Despite that, I remain glad there are those concerned enough to keep asking, to see that I need asking. I hope we all find someone – or someones – who know us well enough to keep asking, “Are you OK?”
