Alternate title: I’m just a girl, standing in front of her work, asking you to be more neurodivergent-friendly.

As I have been learning about my own neurodivergence (with both autism and ADHD), I have been slowly but surely peeling back all the things that I have done to make it in a world that is neurotypical – and most especially at work. Whether you are neurodivergent or neurotypical, finding ways to make your workplace more neurodivergent-friendly is good for everyone. With that in mind, here are a few things I’ve learned about what makes work, well, work for me.

Ability to work remotely

I’ll be honest: I didn’t even know how badly I needed this until COVID-19 forced us all home, and suddenly, I realized I wasn’t having to take mental health days regularly. Some days I wake up, and the thought of being around other people doesn’t just seem like a difficult thing, it seems downright impossible. On those days, having to interact with other people and stimuli can be what I would describe as abrasive – I feel raw, and everything that brushes against me causes actual physical and mental pain.

While I may still enjoy the occasional in-person event, being able to work from home – in a quiet and enclosed space – has made a huge difference in my ability to accomplish work, not take as many sick days, and just generally have more energy at the end of the day. This is all because I’m not having to navigate social situations all day every day at my job, I’m not dealing with unwanted noise, and I have safe spaces within my house to which I can retreat if needed.

Project management software

My partner and I have a son who is in his senior year of high school and trying to plan for the next year. For those of you with older kids, you likely know that this involves a lot of planning on the part of parents. The beginning of this school year has been terribly hectic, what with trying to make sure he has all the classes and credits he needs, figuring out his day-to-day schedule, and exploring college options with him at the same time. I guess I should also be booking a photographer for senior photos, filling out the FAFSA, and helping him with his college applications or planning college tours, but I can barely get my head around all of it.

Thinking about this recently, I realized that the main reason I’m able to function successfully at work is due to our project management software (and prior to the availability of this at other jobs, I kept many, many notebooks, planners, and to-do lists). Being able to consolidate all of my to-dos into one place where I can regularly track projects and deadlines is absolutely necessary for me to function and to get shit done. So when I’m asking my colleagues to submit a web ticket instead of hitting me up on Slack or through email with their requests, it’s really not me being difficult – it’s me making my work more functional for me.

A word about meetings

Okay, truly, I hate meetings, and I’d love a job where I didn’t have them, but I have yet to find one of those. But I have noticed a few things that make meetings more bearable and productive for me – and which are vital for my well-being.

First things first, do not add a meeting to my calendar the same day unless you talk with me – fast schedule changes are triggering for me and mean I’m likely to show up annoyed. If I’m in on the planning, I’m much more likely to be receptive to a same-day meeting, but you will always get best Kristen if you give me at least a day.

Meetings should have a clear purpose and agenda – and for the love of goddess, stick to that agenda. There is nothing more frustrating or annoying to me than when I have planned a certain amount of time for a meeting, and it goes over because whoever called the meeting isn’t running it well. I get agitated when an agenda says part of the meeting is going to take x number of minutes, and then it goes over that time, as well – because then I am worried about whether or not the meeting will go over, my brain was already ready to switch to the next topic, and I’m generally thrown into a confused state about what I should be doing.

I know this one will be contentious for some people, but when attending an online meeting, I really do better when the people I’m meeting with have their cameras on. I fully respect that for some people this is difficult or problematic, so I am not likely to ask for it – I want to make sure everyone else is as comfortable as me in those situations. But as someone who has a very hard time reading intonation and voice, facial expressions are key to me getting the most out of communication. This is why I also dislike phone calls – there seem to be some very clearly defined social expectations around those that I don’t understand, and they make me incredibly anxious because I can’t adjust my behavior based on someone’s facial reactions.

Not every neurodivergent person is the same

While these things are all helpful in making my work life easier, they may or may not work for the next neurodivergent person. The key thing to making your workplace more neurodivergent friendly is honestly just to do your research, and then ask – as long as you’re willing to follow through once you get an answer. Most importantly, don’t assume that because your neurodivergent employees are succeeding in a neurotypical workplace you don’t need to change anything. We all deserve to have a workplace that appreciates and fosters differences – and I promise your organization will be the better for it.