This past month has been something I hoped to never experience. And though I was freshly hurt in November, since this administration has taken office, the hurt I have felt has dug in deep and started to grow roots. I know I’m not the only one feeling this way. So for those of us with “loved ones” who voted against us, this is for you.

Dear person who says they love me but voted for Trump,

I don’t know how to talk to you.

Every day, something new happens in our country, something that often impacts communities of which I’m a part or communities of people I love. And not in a good way.

This could have been avoided.

I told you this was going to happen, and you didn’t believe me. Instead, you believed a man who has consistently lied, a man you don’t even know, and a man who doesn’t care about you. Instead, you chose to believe in your own finances and fears. You chose that over believing in someone who you say you love.

You say you love me, but I don’t know how I can believe you. You talk like him now – saying one thing and doing another. And I don’t know how to trust you.

I am hurting – I am worried about my friends and family members. I am worried about my own safety. I am worried about my job. I am worried for our country. But you act like nothing in our relationship should change just because you voted a certain way. And you say that politics shouldn’t be a defining factor in our relationship.

But when your actions, your vote, actively harm me, I don’t know how politics can’t be a defining factor. When you trust and listen to people who twist the truth and want to deny the humanity of millions of people, but you refuse to trust and listen to me, I don’t know how to talk to you.

I am scared. I am angry. I am horrified. And you act like nothing is wrong.

Do you even know who I am? I don’t think you do. I don’t think I can trust you with the parts of me that are now being erased from our country. You voted for that to happen. I don’t know how to convince you to care about this, to care about me.

I don’t know how to talk to you. And so, I find that I can’t. And maybe that makes me a bad person – that I’m not willing to bridge this divide. Maybe I am. But I don’t know how to mend this divide, and I can’t be the only one trying.

What I know is this: When people who say they love me perform actions of hatred towards me, I cannot trust them. I cannot keep putting myself out there and trying to bend myself to fit who they think I should be. I cannot have a relationship with them. I have to use that energy to protect myself instead.

So I don’t know how to talk to you, and I can’t.

Instead I now need to talk to my senators, my representatives, anyone in government who might listen as I defend my existence in this country. And that’s because of you.